Here is viral video from Pastor Bolaji Idowu's Harvesters Church service where a woman complains that men begin acting evasively like roundabouts after sleeping with women once or twice.
The conversation:
Lady: Men, after sleeping with you once, twice, going out on dates, they start acting like roundabouts… like…
Pastor: When he says “I love you,” what does it mean to you?Lady: I love you in the aspect of self-sabotaging… self-sabotaging myself, shielding myself from love. It comes like, you just like my fine face, you just want sex.Pastor: You just want sex?
Lady: Yes, you just want to have sex.
Pastor: Why do you think you just want sex? Or lies company… Why do you think you just want sex?
Lady: Because men, after sleeping with you once, twice, going out on dates, they start acting like roundabouts… like…
Pastor: Question… I love what you’re saying. You’re saying they’re asking roundabout. But that’s all men, right? Hold on, the reason I’m saying this is that Denom just told us that a lady told him “I didn’t wear pants because of you. Let’s go into the house, let’s have sex.” And he says, “I’m sorry, I’m celibate.” What do you have to say about that?
Lady: What I want to say is everybody has a transition stage. In the past, if a man walks up to me and asks me out, I just feel he just wants to behave like the others. Because when you tell a man you are celibate as a woman, they want to try hard to get through you. They give you everything. I have had sad experiences from men. That’s what I’m saying. Yes.
Pastor: The reason why when someone says “I love you” and you don’t believe you love them is because you are allowing your past to influence your present.
Lady: No, sir. Thank you. Yes… tell me. Yes. It’s not that allowing the past… No… before you will see somebody that will actually prove you wrong, it takes a lot of work. Intentionality. Most of them come with the same manual. It’s not self-sabotaging most times. Sometimes the ones that are even committed… let’s say they are not committed, but they are talking to you, stringing you along.
Pastor: I’m not… see, let me tell you something. I’m not disputing that she’s true, that a lot of guys say “I love you” to get into your pants. That’s true. But what I’m saying is this: why is it that the first time you hear “I love you,” what shows up in your mind is that he wants to sleep with me? The Bible says, as a man thinketh in his heart… what happened? I’m not saying that what you said is not true, but the truth also is this: as a man thinketh in his heart. So, if I think that all the guys that come, all they want is sex, I will keep attracting all guys that all they want is sex. Someone says, “No, you know what, you can’t argue with me,” because that’s how you’ve been thinking and that’s what you’re attracting. Until you change what you’re thinking, you will not attract someone else.
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