Another thing that made me know I married well happened immediately I landed in Canada
So a few days after I landed, my husband took me to the bank so I could open my own bank account.
When we got there, per usual I was asked to put in the four digit pin I wanted to use for my debit card.
My husband was standing beside me and as I was putting it in, he looked away.
I looked at him sharply wandering what that was about. I found it weird.
When we we got home, I asked him why he did that. “Why don’t you want to know my pin”? But I know your own” I asked him.
He said “you’re your own person. You know my pin because I told you” if you want me to know your own, tell me”
I told him but honestly I did not understand fully what he was trying to do till a few months into marriage.
That’s when I understood that my husband did not want me to become consumed. Even God gives mankind free will. And this is what my husband was modeling.
Because many times , Marriage consumes women. And sometimes, some Christian men wield this as a weapon mercilessly. And I know this because I used to be in a relationship where it was all about him.
His vision. His plans. His calling. What God wanted to do with him. And it was now like “What about me? God does not want to use me for anything?”
You become consumed in the man that you lose your sense of self. Your dreams, your thoughts, your ideas out the window.
You hear people saying that your husband’s purpose becomes your purpose when you marry him.
So you won’t stand before the throne of God on your own to give account of the life He gave you? And mind you your husband will not be there to help you explain.
He wanted me to be his wife but still feel like my own person. First he led by example by letting me know all his pins and then allowing me share mine. Which I gladly did
My husband did not insist I change my name on socials because that’s the name people have known. And he said “let’s not confuse anybody. You’re my Wife and you carry my name where it matters most”
It was in all these subtle ways that he helped me be me and that’s why God has helped me to still have a voice and be useful to my generation.
And for that, I bless God for him everyday.
The Bible says that “two shall become one”
But the Bible also says that “each one stood before God to give account”
Not two standing before God o. Each person will stand before God by themselves. And that tells you that even in the two, God still sees each one.
Selah.
PS: I am not attacking men. Resist the urge to drop that contrary comment that is in your mind. I am not attacking men. I am sharing my experience which I think can help the young girls who look up to me.
Blessings.
Comments
Post a Comment