I Regret Being Too Hard On Myself In My Early Years Of Med School

 Sometimes I look back at my early years in medical school and I genuinely feel sad for the version of me that was trying so hard to “be perfect.”

I was always stressed. Always scared. Always comparing myself with people who looked like they had everything together. I kept pushing myself like a robot, forgetting that I was a human being with limits, emotions, and breaking points.

I did not allow myself to rest because I felt rest was “wasting time.”

I did not allow myself to fail because I felt failure meant I wasn’t good enough to be i

n medical school.

I did not allow myself to breathe because I believed other people were smarter, so I had to work twice as hard just to keep up.

I remember the nights I cried quietly after reading for so many hours and still not remembering anything.

I remember the guilt that used to swallow me whenever I took even a small break.

I remember waking up every day with fear instead of motivation.

Looking back now, I realise something painful:

I was not giving myself grace.

I was not treating myself like someone who deserved patience.

I was not allowing myself to grow at a normal human pace.

Medical school is already tough. But the pressure I put on myself made it even tougher.

I regret the way I punished myself for every low score.

I regret the way I never celebrated the small wins.

I regret the way I forgot that growth takes time.

Today, I am still learning. I am still improving. But I am doing it with more kindness.

Because I now understand that you do not have to break yourself before you become great.

*File photo added for illustration